The Craft
In the movie In and Out, the actor Cameron Drake smiles and waves for the cameras and fans as he arrives at the 68Th Annual Academy Awards. To the entertainment news reporter Peter Malloy, he comments that he’s an artist, that it’s all about the work and awards don’t really mean anything. Malloy then asks him why he’s present and Drake without hesitation answers‘well, I could win.’
Growing up all I wanted was to win an Oscar. I wanted to wear that gorgeous gown and parade on the stage, clutching that golden statue to my chest as I shouted my ‘thank you’s,’ and made witty, but insightful quips. I went about getting to that stage: acting in school plays, auditioning for drama schools, and dreaming24-7. After my freshman year of college, not satisfied with the drama classes on offer at my college, I applied to Juilliard. I believed I was the shit, had been told I was so why not attend the most prestigious art school in the U.S.A.?The night of my audition, crying uncontrollably in a ball on the floor, my mother tried to console me. I couldn’t be. To her I said: ‘now I’ll never be able to wear that pretty dress at the Oscar’s.’ As the period punctuated my sentence, a two-by-four struck me between the ears. What the hell was I saying?All this to wear a dress? I’d just been flatly rejected, brought down to earth in a way I’d never been before (I always got the parts I auditioned for), and I was hysterical about a dress? I rarely wore dresses in my regular life, so what the hell was I on about?
Is it cliché to say that that experience was a turning point? Of course, and I’ll happily own it because the artistic journey I embarked on for the next twenty years brought me to a place where I can honestly say, yeah, an Oscar would be nice, but steady writing work that pays the bills and allows me to wear Diesel jeans and Adidas Originals will do much, much better, thank you.
A week ago it was the Oscars. I haven’t watched nor really paid much attention to them in years. Every once in a while I agree with the winners—The Lives of Others, The Shape of Water, Parasite. But most of the time the films and performances aren’t much to dazzle. I spent my weekend watching two films: Animal Kingdom and Bad Lieutenant. Films that wouldn’t have a farting chance of being Oscar-worthy but in my no-man’s opinion were great pieces of storytelling.For me films are all about the writing and how well the actors bring those words to life. How does an actor give themselves to the text, honouring the words and the beats, to convey the umpteen layers of the life experience the writer is trying to expose. Both films were incredibly gritty, raw and at moments left me slack jawed, but my word, what lives some of us live? How grateful I am, that there are writers and actors out there who can dream beyond the frou-frou dress and simply want to share the human experience.
